I love my Thorens turntable and SME tonearm. They are beautifully built, sound gorgeous, and to my mind represent fantastic modern design. Even though they are decades old, they still look, feel, and sound beautiful.

Not that I am weirdly obsessed or anything, but sometimes I spend hours just staring at the German platter go round and round and round. Glistening in the sun like a fat child running for a bus. I consider the delicate balance of the Surrey tonearm as though it were a ballerina standing on a mirror, but even more revealing. Occasionally I think my obsession with my record player goes too far, and even verges on insanity. But that’s only when to my surprise I find myself eating cereal with the severed tonearm. Oh how I laugh.

I know I can be a bit of a Brompton bore when it comes to exulting the charms, assets, and abilities of the great British folding bike. But did you know the Brompton has the magic power to transform into a lady carrying home her shopping from the supermarket? This is critical for when you secretly need to get home slowly to get tea in the oven. Is there nothing this bike cannot do?