See if you can match the following captions with the images taken last weekend in Bristol, which I was visiting to enjoy the St Werburghs Festival:

1. A reveller outside the Minor’s Arms flounced off his binge on ecstasy pipes (or horse tranquilliser). He carries in his pocket a book entitled: “How to fossilise your hamster”

2. An unusual and ghostly close friend of mine guarding two teacups of cider brandy on top of St Werburghs hill at 5AM

3. A witty graffito drawing an analogy between the hysteria or jaundiced consumerism of popular culture and current political events

4. A shopkeeper’s attempt to con some Gloucester Road shopper into a purchasing a lame and tatty item on the basis of endearing humour

5. A remnant of clothing being attacked by a rogue element of road-marking.

6. “Bringing down the system / sticking it to the man”

If you do manage to solve this brainteaser, then send me your answers and I will see if I can bring myself to read them.